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Rupert Goodwins

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Mixed Signals

Any sufficiently advanced information is indistinguishable from noise

Friday 9 March 2001, 4:45 PM

Rupert Goodwins' Diary

Posted by Rupert Goodwins

Monday
05/03/2001

Do you want to know a secret? Today's story, Bishops Call For Mobile Mast Ban, is not the version that was first submitted by superstar reporter Graeme Wearden to top news honcho Matt Loney. In many ways, the story is the same -- bishops in the Church of Rome announced that mobile phone masts are not permissible on church buildings.

Is this some deep theological issue? Can the bishops not tolerate the idea of such machineries of Babel infesting their majestic, heavenward-pointing spires? Or is there some reading of scripture that forbids this particular form of talking in tongues?

None of the above -- it seems that there's a danger churches who hire out themselves for gain might lose their tax breaks. And while the church has never had a problem rendering unto Caesar, it's by no means anticlerical to try and minimise one's exposure to the temporal.

However. None of these facts have changed from the version submitted to that on your page now. No, it's only a matter of the headline. While Matt 'Sensible' Loney decided that 'Bishops Call For Mobile Mast Ban' was more in keeping with our role as a top news agency, he agreed that Graeme's first attempt was far superior, just... well, what would you say to "Mast Debating Bishops Bash Out Mobile Ban"?

'I'm choked, said Cardinal Chicken...'

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Rupert Goodwins
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