Rupert Goodwins' Diary

Monday 19/01/2004
Has anyone seen a sense of humour lying around? Last seen chatting to its friend, the Sense of Proportion, but both missing presumed being held in Camp Delta as a threat to global security. Now, it takes a certain kind of nuclear-powered stupidity to persist in saying "Yes, there's a bomb in my bag" when you're surrounded by armed goons at the airport, but of course she didn't -- and, regardless of what the Terrorism Experts say, this is not a technique used by bombers. You could excuse a sense of humour failure here, and would possibly even expect one among airport security staff -- people who rarely pursue a second career in stand-up comedy.

But Microsoft threatening to go to court over Mike Rowe's mikerowesoft.com Web site? That's Mike Rowe, 17? Does Bill Gates forget the sorts of stunts he pulled when he was a young hacker, desperate to do anything to get more time on computers that were perhaps not put on God's earth to do the young man's bidding? This sort of attitude can only engender contempt, ridicule and heavy-handed satire.

So it is with a light heart that I point you to www.wynndoes.com  Be warned, it has rude words right from the off -- and makes no bones about the fact that it sounds awfully like another Web site belonging to our friends. But before anyone decides to press the red button and activate the laser-guided lawyers slumbering in their underground pods, they should read the End User Licencing Agreement on the site. It is a mish-mash of unreasonable, ridiculous, stupidly restrictive, incredibly expensive and utterly one-sided terms that no sane person would contemplate for a nanosecond: in other words, a masterpiece of the art.

We've tried reason. We've tried outrage. Perhaps a long session of scorn, disdain and open contempt will get through...