Mixed Signals
Any sufficiently advanced information is indistinguishable from noise
Friday 5 May 2006, 6:50 PM
Rupert Goodwins' Diary
Friday 5/5/2006
I had hoped at the beginning of the week to have enough stories to fill the four days. Now it's Friday, and I've got brainlessness to spare.
Take Matt Loney, Site Director. He suffers, poor chap, from being a great journalist who's been propelled upwards into managerial realms, and like most bright chaps is not entirely comfortable with the mindless element involved in some of the admin. He was filling in forms earlier in the week when he swore under his breath.
"What's up?" I asked, all sympathetic like.
"A good rule," he said, "when filling in carbon copies on multiple different forms, is not to have them all in a pile when you do the top one."
"Oh, been there, done that..." I said, and went back to my writing for a beat. Then it struck me.
"Carbon copies?" I said. "Like, real carbon copies? On paper?" He held up a stack of exactly that.
"But... but... " I gestured at my computer. "Don't we spend all our time telling people how good computers are at... you know, office data... "
"Sarbanes Oxley." he said. "Systems. Systems have to be in place."
"Carbon paper makes a good system? Enron wouldn't have happened if they used four-part flimsies?"
He sighed, and I caught all the woes of the world in that one exhalation. I went back to my typing, and tried to ignore the quiet sounds of weeping.
Then there was the press pack from 3M, advertising its Privacy Technology. This is a thin layer of plastic that fits over a laptop screen, restricting the view from the sides. It works quite well; from anywhere other than straight on you can't see a thing. But the press pack included a little demo folder with two windows in it, one with the 3M film and one with a competitor's alternative. These looked onto two blocks of text, one extolling 3M, one excoriating the opposition.
Unfortunately, while the 3M system works perfectly well with transmitted light it's terrible on reflected, so when you try and read a piece of paper rather than a laptop screen it makes it almost too murky to see. The competitors has no such problem. The result, when you show someone the press pack with its "Which one do YOU prefer?" Pepsi Taste Test logo, they invariably pick the competition. D'oh!
And finally, I can't help but point you at the web site of one Dr Henry Jordan, who wishes to be voted Lieutenant Govenor of South Carolina. I have no idea what a Lieutentant Govenor is or does, nor why one would wish to become one, but it's clearly important to Dr Henry.
He sets out his stall with admirable candour. He's against gay marriage, evolution, immigrants, abortion, taxes, overly stringent environmental regulations, and for God, family, high technology, free markets in education and health. (One wonders how he'd react to a high-tech firm that used genetic algorithms and Turing machines). And he's also against crime – on which, he has some interesting ideas. Let me quote the man directly.
"CRIME: Everyone knows our criminal justice system has broken down. We all live in dread of violent thugs who must be swept from the midst and confines for longer periods than is now permitted because of prison overcrowding. [...] Since there is a direct correlation between illiteracy and crime, no one should be paroled who cannot demonstrate an acceptable ability to read and write; an opportunity to learn should be available to all prisoners."
To which one can only say – amen! Anyone who can write a sentence like "We all live in dread of violent thugs who must be swept from the midst and confines for longer periods than is now permitted because of prison overcrowding." is clearly in need of such an opportunity to learn. One can only pray that he gets it.
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