No Whoops please, we're British!

First I want to make it absolutely clear, I like Apple. Yes, really I do, I own an iPod. Well it was given to me last Christmas by my wife, but that's not really my point.

Ever since I was prevented from using an original Apple Mackintosh we had at work, because I was too junior and unimportant, I have longed to own one for myself. Unable to afford one, I opted for Acorn. Probably cost me just as much in the long term, but I felt proud I was supporting a UK company. When it finally went to the wall, Apple wasn't cool any more, so I decided that if you can't beat them, join them. So I got a PC, then another, then another, and then another. I'm getting tired of them now. I can probably count in days, the amount of time I have had to wait for the thing to boot up, shit down, and general hanging about.

Hang on, typo, that should be “shut down”.

Err!

perhaps I was right the first time.

I have thought about having a play with Linux, but that is another story, when I get a moment I'll tell it.

Now Apple is cool again, so sometime between now and Christmas, I shall be dusting off the credit card and getting myself a Macbook. Anyway, Mr Apple, what's your name? Jobs is it? You will excuse me if I don't show my excitement in quite the same way that you are used to. I do not whoop! I've seen the videos of your little chats, your “keynote speeches”. Yes “stacks” are good, I like the idea, but not worth getting all excited about, I won't whoop!

I saw the ITN footage taken at the iPhone UK launch, you know the one, the interrupted interview. All the American PR gurus (I assume they were American, their accents fitted), who were getting “really excited” about the iPhone. Then I read about the Apple employees whipping up the crowds in Regent Street, who's idea was that, let me guess, was it one of those American PR people? The iPhone UK launch was like one of those Met Office weather warnings, batten down the hatches people, it's really going to blow, then all we get is a gentle breeze.

Get real guys, its a phone. Yes it looks good, when taken out of the box. Then everyone is going to put their grubby and greasy paws all over the screen and get it really mucky, some might even stick it on the side of their face.

I don't mind you US Apple people doing things your way, when you're at home, but please, we have our own identity, our own ways of doing things, you might laugh at us, but we are a proud lot. Listen to your Apple UK employees. I bet you their ideas will probably work a lot better than yours. In this country at least.