CRIMINOLOGY CEOLOGY
The Secret Diary of an Espionage Software Creator
Thursday 27 December 2007, 1:51 PM
Being a Spy Technology Creator
It's quite hard being a CEO of a giant tech company. Especially if you don't want anyone to know you exist.
Hi, I'm David Pigmaleon, I am CEO (chief executive officer) of Pigmaleon Software Corporation Limited. We make spy software.
Worried about your phone being tapped? Worried that your computer is telling us what you're typing on facebook? if not, you should be, we're very good.
We don't make software for the highest bidder, instead we make it for governments and agencies who vow to keep our name secret, because after all they are better at that than anyone in the tech industry.
Take Apple for example, the most secret of tech companies, but all their technology is leaked in various forms before it is launched, if we had such leaks, we wouldn't be in business.
So we get assistance from the best in the business, who keep our stuff secret, safe and secure. Nobody knows, nobody cares, that's what we like, and we'd like to keep it that way.
Of course, I myself am quite wealthy from my business, I go to parties, I meet pretty ladies. What do I tell them? I am an entrepreneur. I own oil, or something. They don't particularly like the oil business per say, but it's a good compromise between evil technology company and public hero, that way women just forget about what they think I do, and care only about the money. They wont ask questions.
Hopefully.
You might think that my company, which by the way boasts over 10,000 employees, is the type of one that creates the spyware that you find occupying and slowing down your computer. Well, our stuff is a little better than that. For example, if you were to employ a spyware detection programme, such as AdAware, on any system we have infected, you would find 0 results. That's right, zero, nada, nothing. Our stuff is so light, it wont slow down your computer, it loads at boot time and you'd never find it.
Believe it or not, it's the same technology that prevented Y2K from ever happening.
I'd love to tell you more, but alas, it's not what I'm here to do, and I'd be dead if I tried.
Until next time. If there is a next time.
Hi, I'm David Pigmaleon, I am CEO (chief executive officer) of Pigmaleon Software Corporation Limited. We make spy software.
Worried about your phone being tapped? Worried that your computer is telling us what you're typing on facebook? if not, you should be, we're very good.
We don't make software for the highest bidder, instead we make it for governments and agencies who vow to keep our name secret, because after all they are better at that than anyone in the tech industry.
Take Apple for example, the most secret of tech companies, but all their technology is leaked in various forms before it is launched, if we had such leaks, we wouldn't be in business.
So we get assistance from the best in the business, who keep our stuff secret, safe and secure. Nobody knows, nobody cares, that's what we like, and we'd like to keep it that way.
Of course, I myself am quite wealthy from my business, I go to parties, I meet pretty ladies. What do I tell them? I am an entrepreneur. I own oil, or something. They don't particularly like the oil business per say, but it's a good compromise between evil technology company and public hero, that way women just forget about what they think I do, and care only about the money. They wont ask questions.
Hopefully.
You might think that my company, which by the way boasts over 10,000 employees, is the type of one that creates the spyware that you find occupying and slowing down your computer. Well, our stuff is a little better than that. For example, if you were to employ a spyware detection programme, such as AdAware, on any system we have infected, you would find 0 results. That's right, zero, nada, nothing. Our stuff is so light, it wont slow down your computer, it loads at boot time and you'd never find it.
Believe it or not, it's the same technology that prevented Y2K from ever happening.
I'd love to tell you more, but alas, it's not what I'm here to do, and I'd be dead if I tried.
Until next time. If there is a next time.
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