Communication Breakdown

David Pogue over at the New York Times has just received his first bill for using his iPhone on AT&T. He is not a happy bunny. In fact, the bill is, according to Pogue, "a staggeringly, hatefully complex document, designed by some Monty Pythoneseque committee in charge of consumer confusion". No love there, then.

Now, this could all just be AT&T's fault, but bear in mind that Apple has to partner up with its iPhone operators very tightly indeed (which is why the identity of the UK operator for iPhone is such a hotly debated topic). Also bear in mind that the big thing with Apple's products is the seamless user experience. Reports like this do not reflect well on Jobs & Co, whoever is at fault.

Today I would like to rant about the current trend of having tinny music, instead of a normal ringing sound, play to people when they call a mobile phone (and no, I'm not talking about ringtones; I'm talking about what the caller hears while waiting for their call to be picked up).

This would be a brilliant idea if the music didn't sound like it had been rerecorded 17 times on an old tape deck then forced into the caller's ear with a turkey baster. I like music. I think a song worth hearing is generally best heard for a period of longer than 6 seconds, and certainly best heard at a quality that actually lets you tell what song it is. Otherwise, a ringing sound will do just fine.

OK, rant over. Thank you for your time, and goodnight.

If I was called Arthur or Martha and I worked as a saleswonk for a certain mobile phone shop, I'd be pretty miffed at the company's new "motivational" ploy.

According to reports, managers at the high street chain have launched a campaign to encourage/humiliate underperformers (how can they tell?) by calling them "Arthur" or "Martha". "It's meant to be a 'thanks' to them because they make you [the less incompetent saleswonk] look good. We want to eliminate Arthurs by getting them to improve," said a saleswonk, while quietly resolving to never let his colleagues discover his middle name.

Sounds like a fun place to work, whatever you're called...

Ofcom may be changing the rules on number porting to make it easier to switch mobile operators, but experience suggests that many businesses find it difficult to make that change for a variety of reasons.

So let's have them! We want to hear your horror stories about changing mobile operators - whether you've been on the receiving end or involved in things from the operator standpoint. How long did the process take? Has anyone experienced "dirty" ploys to stop customers leaving? Are these things that can be fixed by Ofcom's new rules, or is there more to be done?

Answers below, please...

If I ran an internet service provider, I'd be as confused as all heck right about now. First you get a Belgian court ruling that ISPs are responsible for the illegal filesharing taking place on their networks - a decision that, inevitably, is now being challenged - and then you get the European Court of Justice standing by you, ruling that ISPs shouldn't have to hand over information on the illegal filesharers themselves.

Yes, I know that subtly different points of law are being contested in these different cases, but the picture that's getting painted here is less than clear for the ISPs, not to mention the users themselves. A lot of this seems to come down to a distinction between "filtering" and "monitoring" - i.e. whether you can filter reliably without infringing on users' privacy - but there's clearly a lot of lobbying going on behind the scenes. Whatever happens, the biggest battles are yet to come.